I posted this on another thread but it probably should be here too....
There was this Army veteran, Jim, who just spent thirty years in the Army driving heavy equipment before he retired. After he retired he started looking for a job in the civilian world. In the paper he found an ad for the 'Sesame Street Transportation' company so he applies.
The next day Jim shows up at the interview with a suit pressed to military precision and and meets the interviewer. The interviewer hires him on the spot and tells him his job responsibilities.
"Basically what you'll be doing is driving a bus for the company and picking up kids for school. You go on your route and wherever you see a sign with a Sesame Street character, you'll pick up the kids. It's easy!"
The next day Jim shows up in his new, pressed uniform and wants to make a good impression. Driving along he sees a sign with a picture of Burt, a Sesame Street character, and stops. There's this buff girl lifting weights by the sign. Jim thinks it's unusual but he opens the door and lets her on. The girl sits down in back. Jim, trying to make an impression, says, "Hi, my name is Jim and I'm the new bus driver. What's your name?"
"My name is Patty," says the girl.
Jim drives on and sees a sign with a picture of Ernie and stops where another buff girl lifting weights gets on the bus. Unusual again. Jim tries to make a good impression, "Hi, my name is Jim. What's your name?"
"My name is Patty," says the new girl.
How odd--two big, powerful girls both named Patty. Jim keeps driving. He sees a sign with a picture of Big Bird and stops. There's this little kid chasing a butterfly. Jim stops and opens the bus door. The kid continues dancing around.
"Kid," says Jim, "Is this your bus?"
No response from the kid. One of the Patty's says, "That's Ross. He's a little special. Call his name and he'll get on the bus.
Jim takes the advice and says, "Ross, get on the bus."
Ross finally notices the bus driver and gets on the bus. Jim continues driving. Eventually he sees a sign with a picture of Oscar and there's this kid, clearly older than the rest, with leather, chains and smoking a cigarette. Jim stops and opens the door, "Are you sure you belong on this bus?"
The older kid says, "This is the Sesame Street Bus, isn't it??"
"Yes," says Jim.
"Then I belong here." The older kid gets on the bus and sits down right behind the bus driver.
"What's your name?" asks Jim.
"My name is Lester Breeze...but people call me 'Cool Breeze' because I'm so cool.
By now Jim is getting frustrated but he drives on. Soon this horrible smell emanates from somewhere behind him. He turns around and sees Lester with his shoes off and picking at his toes. "What are you doing, Lester?? Put your shoes back on!"
"Na, I can't," says Lester, "I have to pick this stuff out from between my toes."
By now Jim has had enough and starts accelerating trying to get to the school. Soon he's pulled over by a police officer.
"What are you doing??" says the officer, "You have a busload full of kids here and you're going through the neighborhoods at 70 mph!!"
"Officer, you don't understand," says Jim, "I have two all beef Patty's, Special Ross and Lester Breeze picking his bunions all on a Sesame Street Bus!" |
