Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrasing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then he met a girl one day, and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She is such a sweet girl, and she would never go for that kind of carring on." So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans. They were married shorly afterward.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told herthat he would be late home because he had to walk. On his way, he passed a small cafe, and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he stopped at the cafe, and before leaving, he had eaten three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home he putt-putted, and after arriving, he felt
reasonably sure that he had putt-putted his last. His wife seemed
somewhat agitated and excited to see him, and exclaimed, "Darling, I
have the most wonderful surprise for your dinner tonight." She
blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the end of the table. He
seated himself, and just as he was about to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang. His wife made him promise not to touch the blindfold
until she returned. Then she went to answer the phone. Seizing the
opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not
only loud, but ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and
began fanning the air vigorously about him. Things had just returned to normal, when he felt another urge coming on him, so he shifted his
weight to the other leg, and let go again. This was a true prize winner!
While keeping his ear on the conversation in the hall, he went on like
this for ten minutes, until he knew the phone farewells inidcated the
end of his freedom. He placed his napkin on his lap, and folded his
hands on top of it, and smiled contently to himself. When his wife
returned, apologizing for taking so long, she asked him if he had
peeked, and he of course assured her that he had not.
At this point, she removed the blindfold, and there to his
surprise were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a
surprise HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! |
