IN HONOR OF THE LATE BUT GREAT HENNY YOUNGMAN - R. I. P.
"A guy comes up to me and says, 'I haven't eaten in two days.' I told him, 'Force yourself.'"
"I didn't sleep well last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother, and I was a bottle baby."
"A guy calls his lawyer. He says, 'Can I ask you two questions?' Lawyer says, 'What's the second one?'"
"This guy asked his doctor, 'Will I be able to play the piano after my operation?' And the doctor says 'Sure.' And the guy says, 'Funny, I couldn't do it before.'"
"I just came from a pleasure trip -
took my mother-in-law to the airport."
"Two guys in a gym, one putting on a girdle. One guys says, 'Since when have you been wearing a girdle?' Other guy says, 'Since my wife found it in the glove compartment of our car.'"
"My doctor told me I was fat. I said I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'OK, you're ugly, too.'"
"I live about four muggings from Central Park."
"I flew on an airplane, the food was fit for a king. Here, King!"
"Take my wife, please." |
