The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for an answered prayer.
Suzie stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have some praise. Two months ago, my husband, Frank, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Frank must have experienced.
"Frank was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Frank's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place with metal staples."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Frank.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Frank is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Frank". The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”
—
A man is eating at his local dumpling shop.
The waiter comes over and asks if everything is OK with his meal today.
"Meals wonderful! But these lights are so bright" he says.
Waiter asks "would you like us to turn them off?”.
Man says "No, but maybe Dim Sum.”
—
Why did the 9V battery get kicked out of church?
Because they were holding an AA Meeting.
—
Why did the Albino pig have bad breath?
He has no Pig mints.
--
My girlfriend's vagina smells like roses.
But Rose's is tighter.
—
After twelve years of psychoanalysis, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, No hablo Ingles. |
