A group of young businessmen were chatting at the bar, and one decides to share his recent embarrassment with the others. He tells them that he was booking a plane ticket to Pittsburgh, but he was so preoccupied with the beautiful breasts of the girl to the counter, that instead of saying "I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh", he said, "I'd like a picket to Titsburg!"!
An older guy nearby hears the story and says, "You know, I had a similar experience with my wife this morning. We were sitting at the breakfast table. and I meant to say, "Darling, could you please pass the butter" ... but what came out was, "You bitch, you're ruining my f##king life!"
====================== # 8
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
====================== # 7
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman.. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
====================== # 6
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
====================== # 2
A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices
a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks
down upon the small white guy and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20
inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown"
The small white guy faints !!
The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy "What's wrong?".
The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?".
The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20
inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner
Brown"
The small white guy says "Thank god, I thought you said"Turn around".
====================== # 1
This one made it No.1 in just 1 day !!!!
What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night ?
Now I know why you named your company Microsoft !"
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