A man came home from work and said to his wife, "Honey, we have to sell our home and our car, and we can't afford to keep your jewelry or your furs anymore." The wife was shocked. "What happened?" "We just lost all of our money in the stock market!" The woman was livid! "I can't live like a pauper again!" she cried, ran up to an open window on the third floor of their home and jumped out. The man watched her fall, then he looked up and said, "Thank you PaineWebber!"
From the Toronto Globe and Mail:
Bill Gates, to his broker: "You spent my $150 million on WHAT?!? I said SNAPPLE!!!"
When Albert Einstein died, he met three guys in the queue outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein. "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity". The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein. "I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace". The third guy mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the Dow?"
A trader, a salesman and an analyst are hurrying to a breakfast meeting when they come to a pedestrian crossing where (the little man is red/the sign says don't walk).
The analyst goes away to do some research. Two hours later she returns to say she's fairly convinced it will change to (green/walk) - sometime.
The trader steps out onto the road immediately - he might not have got his timing right but he knows it's going to change and he doesn't want to miss the turn.
The salesman calls up all his clients and tries to find out when they think the lights might change. Then he goes off to lunch, having done a good days work.
Have you noticed that if you add Bars to ING you get Barings? One perhaps for Mr. Leeson to ponder.
"I consider myself a serious trader. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine who calls himself an 'Investor'.
So I asked him, "What's the difference between a trader and an investor?" He replied, "I don't know, let me think about it for a while . . |
