El Paso humor....
>>You know you're in El Paso when...
>>You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water...
>>You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
>>You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off...
>>You can make instant sun tea...
>>You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
>>The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly...
>>You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car..
>>You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
>>You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
>>distance...
>>Hot water now comes out of both taps...
>>It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out
on
>>the streets...
>>You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
>>You break a sweat the instant you step outside...at 730 a.m. before
work...
>>No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air
>>conditioning...
>>You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...
>>Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up
>>lying
>>on the pavement and cook to death?"...
>>
>>
>>It's so hot in El Paso...
>>The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
>>It's so dry in El Paso, the cows are giving evaporated milk.
>>It's so dry in El Paso, the trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
>>Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
hard
>>boiled eggs.
>>The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to
pull
>>one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
>>
>>
>>A sad El Pasoan once prayed, "I wish it would rain, not so much for me,
cuz
>>I've seen it, but for my 7-year-old."
>>
>>
>>A visitor to El Paso once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?"
>>
>>A rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the
>>Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"
>>
>>The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
>>
>>Well," the rancher puffed up, we got about two and a half inches during
that
>>spell."
|
