CATS
Installing A Homeschooling CAT Unit
Congratulations on your purchase of a CAT Unit!
This model contains the following features:
* User Friendly
* Mouse Driven
* Self Cleaning
* Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
* Self Portable Operation
* Dual Video and Audio Input
* Audio Output
* Auto Search Routines for Input Data
* Auto Search for Output Bin
* Instant Transition (2 nanoseconds) Between Standby
and Full Power Mode
Production Details: After basic KIT construction, the
unit undergoes six weeks of onsite ROM programming and
burn-in testing. Listed features are installed during
this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers, there
may be variations between units.
Transportation: A suitable transportation case should be
used for transportation to the operating site. Failure
to properly ship a CAT unit may result in loss or damage to the unit and/or serious injury to the end user.
Installation Procedures: Upon receiving the CAT unit,
the user should examine the unit to verify that all I/O
channels are operational. Look for minor bugs in or on
the system. Bugs are indicative of the MOMCAT production
environment. The user may manually remove any bugs.
Bring the CAT to operation in an environment temperature
at 20 deg. C (+/-3 deg tolerance). Use a quiet room with
the primary user(s) present. Open the transportation
case and let the CAT unit autoexit. Initialize the self-
learning program Katfind(tm) by displaying the input
bins. These should contain H2O (liquid state, room
temperature, 99% purity) and dry energy pellets. Immediately afterwards, display the output bin.
If the user already has a CAT unit successfully
installed, it may be possible to transfer BASIC routines
to the new CAT. For the first day or two, the CAT will stay in self learning mode.
When the learn buffer overflows, the CAT will autoswitch to sleep mode. This is normal. The MMU system will store the new information
to permanent memory. After 72 hours, the CAT will be
interacting with the operating environment.
The unit may be placed in direct sunlight. CAT units are operational in all axis: standing, sitting, or laying down. If all basic environment requirements are satisfied, the CAT system will produce a slight hum.
This is normal.
A new CAT should not exit the primary site facility.
Full portability comes after extensive burn in. Some
users never let the CAT unit autoexit the site. The
advantages are longer unit life and fewer bugs.
Contact with pirate CAT units may lead to unplanned
BATCH iteration.
Contact with untested CATs may lead to virus infection.
If allowed to exit, fatal errors may happen. If you
decide to let your CAT out, it should have a READ_ME.TXT
file with a system address and URL which identifies the
host site.
Your CAT should have a system name. The name may need to be reinitialized repeatedly until the system can read it
correctly. This lets you issue voice commands to bring the unit to an online state. Many owners give their CATs a secret password as well. You can also get the CAT's attention by booting the system. While this is effective, it is discouraged.
Applications: At present, there are few productivity
applications for CAT:
MOUSE is a killer app. This is pre-installed.
Most owners use their system for game playing. CATs play
best when they are new. Older units suffer a system
timing decay which leads to reduced response and
flexibility. Some CAT games are:
CACHE
The CAT will CACHE a data string. Similar to the K9 unit game, but the object must be smaller.
JUMP
Move the data string through the air. The CAT
unit will reach new heights of operation.
MIRROR
Place the unit in front of a mirror and watch
it attempt to parse itself. Some units may
ESCape. Reboot the system by calling its name.
CHASE
Played between two CAT units or a CAT and a K9
unit. Units take turns as one is the data and
the other attempts to parse it.
DANCE and SING
Offer fishy data code to elicit a range of
audio output.
Maintenance: CATs will self-recharge. This takes 20 hours in a 24 hour cycle.
CATs are self cleaning and require little user maintenance. Do not clean the unit with alcohol or benzene-based solvents. This may lead to a violent explosion.
A CAT unit should be taken once a year to a VET for a
system checkup.
Do not attempt to open a CAT. There are no user
serviceable parts inside. If a unit emits unusual smells
or sounds, it should be serviced immediately by a VET.
You may examine the CAT system to determine if it has a male or female SCSI port.
If the port is male, then the CAT unit may emit a non-toxic aerosol. The VET can remove this component.
CATs with female ports are plagued by periodic heating
problems. The VET can fix this permanently by removing
an internal part. Such systems should run unix.
Warning Notices: CAT systems are normally user friendly. However, in certain documented situations, a CAT may
pose a danger to the user. Repeated jamming or
obstruction of I/O ports may lead to deployment of
auto-defense systems. Never attempt a first strike on a
CAT system. Its CPU clock rate made to milspecs and thus classified, but JANE'S FIGHTING FELINES notes that a unit was seen by ham radio operators to be apparently moving at 500 mHz. Twin D- shaped five-pin connectors have an average seek rate of 3 nanoseconds. The
manufacturer is not responsible for injuries to the
user. Children should not poke anything into the CAT's
I/O ports. CAT may BYTE. In dry, cold weather, a surface
electrostatic charge may build up. To avoid electric
shock, stand on an insulated surface. Do not operate the
CAT above water. This may lead to end-user damage. Carry
the CAT firmly. Do not swing it by its "tail".
If you properly care for your CAT, it will give you
years of loyal service. Many users get a second unit, to
enjoy the ability to run complex simulation games.
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