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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: bucko who wrote (10300)6/15/1999 7:12:00 PM
From: The Rabbit  Read Replies (2) of 62549
 
From an old RETAIN from a big (and Blue) computer company...

TEXT:
MOUSE BALLS ARE NOW AVAILABLE AS A FRU (Field Replaceable Unit)
IF A MOUSE FAILS TO OPERATE,OR SHOULD PERFORM ERRATICALLY,IT MAY
BE IN NEED OF BALL REPLACEMENT.BECAUSE OF THE DELICATE NATURE OF
THIS PROCEDURE,REPLACEMENT OF MOUSE BALLS SHOULD BE ATTEMPTED BY
TRAINED PERSONNEL ONLY.

BEFORE ORDERING,DETERMINE TYPE OF MOUSE BALLS REQUIRED BY EXAMINING
THE UNDERSIDE OF EACH MOUSE.DOMESTIC BALLS WILL BE LARGER AND HARDER
THAN FOREIGN BALLS. BALL REMOVAL PROCEDURES DIFFER,DEPENDING UPON
MANUFACTURER OF THE MOUSE. FOREIGN BALLS CAN BE REPLACED USING THE
POP-OFF METHOD, AND DOMESTIC BALLS REPLACED USING THE TWIST-OFF METHOD.
MOUSE BALLS ARE NOT USUALLY STATIC SENSITIVE,HOWEVER,EXCESSIVE
HANDLING CAN RESULT IN SUDDEN DISCHARGE.
UPON COMPLETION OF BALL REPLACEMENT,THE MOUSE MAY BE USED IMMEDIATELY.

IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT EACH SERVICER HAVE A PAIR OF BALLS FOR
MAINTAINING OPTIMUM CUSTOMER SATISFACTION,AND THAT ANY CUSTOMER
MISSING HIS BALLS SHOULD SUSPECT LOCAL PERSONNEL OF REMOVING
THESE NECESSARY FUNCTIONAL ITEMS.

P/N33F8462 -- DOMESTIC MOUSE BALLS
P/N33F8461 -- FOREIGN MOUSE BALLS

It is also noted that there is a type of mouse with no ball, that is primarily used for Eunuchs, er, Unix.
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