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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: PERKINS1 who wrote (1396)3/29/1997 8:10:00 PM
From: Pami   of 62547
 
Perkins!

Too cute!

This is by Andy Taylor for all of you aren't too sure of how to care for your floppies:

1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic
metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing diskettes, make sure application is even. This will allow the diskettes to spin faster, resulting in better access time. (This also workd for CD ROMS)

3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit in the drive. "Big"
diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.

4. Never insert a disk into the drive upside down. The data can fall
off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.

5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the xerox
machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert
two diskettes together into the drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be recorded on both diskettes.

6. Diskettes should not be inserted into or removed from the drive
while the red light is flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or
possibly unreadable text. Occasionally the red light continues to flash in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is "hooking" you, you will probably need to insert a few coins before
being allowed to access the disk drive.

7. If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove
the disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack the data enough (Data Compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.

8. Data access time can be greatly improved by cutting more holes in
the diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points
to the disk.

9.Diskettes can be used as coasters for beverage glasses, provided
they have been properly waxed beforehand. Be sure to wipe the
diskettes dry before inserting into drive. (see item #2 above.)

10. Never use scissors and glue to manually edit documents. The data
stored is much too small to be seen with the naked eye, and you may
end up with data from some other document stuck in the middle of
your document. Razor blades and scotch tape may be used, provided the user is equipped with an electron microscope.

11. Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system
bugs from spreading.

Happy Computing!

-Pam
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