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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: HarperLee who wrote (11307)8/31/1999 4:45:00 PM
From: Jean-STbastien Vanbrugghe  Read Replies (2) of 62549
 
> One day, a fellow complained to his friend. "My elbow really hurts.
> Guess I should see a doctor."
> His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the drug
> store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
> Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose
> your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs
> $10."
> He figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
> sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in
> the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some
> noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out
> popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
> > >> > You have tennis elbow.
> > >> > Soak your arm in warm water.
> > >> > Avoid heavy labor.
> > >> > It will be better in two weeks.
> > >> > Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new
technology
> was
> and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder
> if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed
> together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine
> samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated
> into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the
> machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine
> again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:
> > >> > Your tap water is too hard.
> > >> > Get a water softener.
> > >> > Your dog has worms.
> > >> > Give him vitamins.
> > >> > Your daughter's using cocaine.
> > >> > Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
> > >> > Your wife's pregnant - twin girls.
> > >> > They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> > >> > And if you don't stop jerking off.
> > >> > Your tennis elbow will never get better.
> > >> > Have a Great Day.
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