The following is an actual question given in a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed). One
student, however, wrote the following:
First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of
their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.
(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate at which souls enter Hell, then
the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my
Freshman year "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with
you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A. |
