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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (11629)9/25/1999 8:48:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (2) of 62558
 
You know you work in the 90's if...
1. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
2. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
4. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
5. You learn about your layoff on CNN.
6. Your biggest loss from a system crash is you lose your best jokes.
7. You Supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
8. Salaries of the members of the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
9. It's dark when you drive to and from work.
10.Communication is something your group is having problems with.
11.You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
12.Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
13.Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
14.You're already late on the assignment you just got.
15.You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say “Oh, wow, thanks!”
16.Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
17.Your boss' favorite lines are: “When you get a few minutes”, “In your spare time”, “When you're freed up”, and, “I have an opportunity for you.”
18.Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.
19.Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers.”
20.You think to yourself that you can't wait to die so you can finally get some rest.
21.You begin your work with five major projects that must be accomplished by the end of the day, but by 9:30am you've been given 10 more.
22.You never go to retirement parties anymore because, hey, those people are history now, aren't they?
23.Every message on your audix is identified as priority.
24.You curse your PC because it doesn't work as fast as your brain.
25.You describe your desk as busy not messy.
26.You eat lunch at your desk at 3:00pm
27.You read the NY Times via the Web site.
28.Your Audix asks you to choose Spanish or English.
29.The people at the computer help desk recognize you by the sound of your voice.
30.Your To Do list includes “go home.”
31.You're the only person not working from home; in other words, the only person working.
32.You think about reporting yourself to HR for laughing at an ethnic joke.
33.You're surprised when you've completed an assignment.
34.You find yourself dreaming about going to an island..even if it's Staten!
35.You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
36.You have read this entire list and understood it.
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