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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Edwarda who wrote (11751)	9/29/1999 7:02:00 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) of 62558

Then, too Edwarda, they have propriety "Southern Edition" Windows: Dear Windows Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have inadvertently been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with the background art of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag (much like the one that would be hung on the Flood Wall downtown.) tis also shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver. Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "outhouse" My Computer is called "this dern contraption" Dial-up Networking is called "good ol' boys" Control Panel is known as "the dashboard" Hard Drive is referred to as "4 wheel drive" Floppies are "them little ol' plastic disc thangs" Instead of an error message, a garbage bag and roll of duct tape pops up. CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION: OK: ats aw-right Cancel: piss on it Reset:: try er agin Yes: yep No: nope Find: hunt fer it Go to: over yonder Back: back yonder Help: hep me out here Stop: kwitit Start: crank er up Settings: sittins Programs: stuff at duz stuff Documents: stuff I done did Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. PROGRAMS EXCLUSIVE TO WINDERS 98: tiperiter: a word processing program colerin book: a graphics program cyferin mersheen: calculator outhouse paper: notepad jupe-box: CD player iner-net: Microsoft Explorer 4.0 pichers: a graphics viewer irs: MS accounting software irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files tax records: generally an EMPTY file coon dawg: American Kennel Club records You'll also recognize WINDERS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION as it comes preloaded with certain "Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web: Fish: Bass Anglers Sportsman society NRA: National Rifle Association Shotgun: Remington Arms home page Riffel: Winchester home page Pisstul: Smith & Wesson home page Truck: Ford & Chevy dealers by zip code House: Mobile home repair services and movers by zip code Cuzzins: Complete database of southern residents Bud: List of Budweiser distributors by zip code Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule w/TV stations carrying races Car'n Truck Repair: Junk yards by zip code Doc: Veterinarians by zip code We regret any inconvenience that it may have caused if you have received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps all of y'all. Billy Bob Gates Head Honcho

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