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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Mephisto who wrote (11937)10/12/1999 8:32:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (1) of 62550
 
Stolen from the Babson College website:

When Microsoft moves to Southern Georgia
By Dick Bishop
Published 10/06/98

Fer all you tekkies out thar, here's the real scoop on what will happen when Microsoft moves to Southern Georgia

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag.
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of “Ahh-ight” or “Naw”
5. Instead of “Ta-Da”, the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos"
6. The “Recycle Bin” in Winders ‘95 would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling “Freebird”
8. Instead of “Start Me Up”, the Winders ‘95 theme song would be 'Achy-Breaky Heart '
9. PowerPoint would be named “ParPawnt”
10. Microsoft's programming tools would be “Vishul Basic” and 'Vishul C++”
11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
14. New Shutdown WAV: “Y'all come back now, Yah hear?]”
15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called “Cuz”
16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
20. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
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