Arkansas Vasectomy
Seems JoeBob and his missus were richly-blessed by the Lord with eleven strapping children. One fine day the missus laments: "JoeBob, if'n we cain't find a way to stop havin critters, I'm gonna have to deny you yer marital privileges. Ah just cain't take it anymore." After a week of forced abstinence JoeBob is ready to let Rita drag him to see a doctor. Of course she does all the talking and JoeBob summarizes with a terse "eeyup".
The doctor looks at the couple and says, in his best Ben Casey:'You're in luck. We've got a new procedure called a vasectomy. Works like a charm. You take an empty tin can, put a cherry bomb in it, hold it to your left ear and count to ten. After that, y'all can have relations without any risk. We've had a success rate of better'n ninety percent."
JoeBob thinks on this and remarks, "Doc, Ah don't see how putting myse'f deef in one ear is gonna keep Rita here form bearin'more kids." They leave without convincing JoeBob of the merit of the procedure.
After another week of forced abstinence, JoeBob is getting desperate. On Rita's steadfast counsel he seeks a local doctor, having decided that the trouble with the previous one could be traced to his being a foreigner from somewh'ars back East. So he finds a good ole boy who listens to the tale told by Rita, then pronounces with a grin: "Yer' in luck. There's a procedure we just perfected an'its called a vas-ec-tomy. You take a tin can and a cherry bomb..."
On the drive home JoeBob confesses to Rita that he doesn't see the good in it, but if two doctors agree there might be something to it after all. They get home. JoeBob takes an empty can, lights the cherry bomb, drops it into the can, holds the can up to his left ear, counts to five, pauses, puts the can between his legs and counts on the other hand... |
