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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (12579)11/22/1999 5:41:00 PM
From: Chris K.  Read Replies (2) of 62558
 
A lady was exercising her dog in the park. A scumbag on a bicycle came
up behind her and grabbed the carrier bag from her hand. Pedaling furiously into the distance with his prize, he was not aware of the lady rolling on the grass in fits of laughter.

She had been using the plastic bag to collect her dog poop.

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Bill Clinton died and went to heaven (or to be more accurate, approached the Pearly Gates.) After knocking at the gates, St.Peter appeared. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.

"It's me, Bill Clinton"

"And what do you want?" asked St. Peter.

"Lemme in!" replied Clinton.

"Soooo," pondered Peter. "What bad things did you do on earth?"

Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana but you
shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. I guess I had
extra-marital sex, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't
really have 'sexual relations.' And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury."

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's the
deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it
'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't
call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't
hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."
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