Murphy
The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their
top spy hunters.
The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that
he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the
code words,'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's
really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'"
So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of the small
towns. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for
a guy named Murphy."
The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because,
around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the
Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the
Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the
Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name
is Murphy, too."
Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words
on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the
morning."
The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives
right down the street."
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Indian Mating Season
There were two Indians and a Polish fellow
walking along together in
the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the
Indians took off and ran
up this hill to the mouth of a cave.
He stopped and hollered into the cave...
"Woooooo! Woooooo!
Woooooo!" and then listened very closely until
he heard the answer...
"Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!"
He then tore off his clothes and ran in to the
cave.
The Polish fellow was puzzled and asked the
other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy
or something.
"No", said the other Indian.
"It is mating time for us Indians and when you
see a cave and holler, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an
answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you.
Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw
another cave.
He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped
and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" When he heard the
return, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", off came the
clothes and into the cave he goes.
The Polish guy starts running around the desert...
looking for a cave to find these women that the
Indians had talked about. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw
this great big cave.
As he looked in amazement, he was thinking,
"Man! Look at the
size of that cave! It's bigger then the ones
that those Indians found.
There must really be something really great in
this cave!"
Well... he took off up the hill at a super fast
speed with his hopes of ecstasy and grandeur. He got in front of the
cave and hollered,
"Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!"
He was just tickled all over when he heard the
answering call of,
"WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!
Off came his clothes and, with a big smile on
his face, he raced into the cave.
The next day, in the newspaper, the head lines
read,
NAKED POLLOCK RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!!!
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