*** RERUN ***
The now-legendary Officer Efficiency Reports:
1."Since my last report this employee has hit rock bottom and has started to dig".
2."His men would follow him everywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity".
3."I would not allow this employee to breed".
4."This associate is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be".
5."Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap".
6."When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there".
7."He would be out of his depth in a parking-lot puddle".
8."This young lady has delusions of adequacy ‘ .
9."He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them".
10."This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot".
11."This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better".
13."Not the sharpest knife in the drawer".
14."Got into the gene pool when the life-guard wasn't looking".
15."A room temperature I.Q.".
16."Got the full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together".
17."A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus".
18."A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on".
19."A prime candidate for natural de-selection".
20."Bright as Alaska in December".
21."One-celled organisms outscore him in I.Q. tests".
22."Donated his body to science before he was done using it".
23."Fell out of the family tree".
24."Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming".
25."Has two brains; One is lost and the other is out looking for it".
26."He's so dense, light bends around him".
27."If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate".
28."If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week".
29."If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change".
30."If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean".
31."It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm".
32."One neutron short of a synapse".
33."Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled".
34."Takes him 1 hour to watch 60 minutes".
35."Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead".
10. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
11. He's been working with glue too much.
12. He would argue with a signpost.
13. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves a room.
14. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
15. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one |
