This hillbilly decided there was no other way he could provide for his family, so he joined the army. The army, being understanding and compassionate for families, shipped his ass off to Saudi for two years. Most of his pay and the allotment was sent back to his family. When he finally returned home for a short leave, he found his loving wife seven months pregnant.
Being a naive, trusting hillbilly, he did not understand how she could get pregnant while he was away, so, he took her to the army doctor. The doctor, who has seen the same situation on a daily basis, consoled the young G.I. "It occurred due to animosity and it is very common." The young G.I. was elated to hear that there was a way for his wife to become pregnant without getting boinked.
When the baby was due, the G.I. was called home. His wife went into labor and gave birth to a scrapping, red-headed, 9 pound boy (with a funny tan). God never made a prouder Daddy. The army doctor entered Mom's room to complete the birth certificate. He asked for the father's name. "Joe Bob Hatfield" beamed the hillbilly. "But Joe Bob Hatfield was in Saudi nine months ago. WHAT IS THE FATHER'S NAME?" said the doctor. "My wife got sick with animosity and became pregnant, Doc. Don't you remember?"
"Animosity is not an illness, Dumbass, it means someone had it in for you." |
