A Huey Cobra practicing autorotations during a military night training
exercise had a problem and landed on the tail rotor, separating the tail
boom. Fortunately, it wound up on its skids, sliding down the runway,
spinning rapidly in a brilliant shower of sparks. As the Cobra passed the
tower, the following exchange was overheard:
Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, tower. We ain't done crashin' yet!"
_________________________________________________________________
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 to make a three-sixty (do
a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot
of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make
a three-sixty in this airplane?" Without missing a beat the controller
replied, "Roger that. Give me four thousand dollars worth!"
_________________________________________________________________
PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower
and said, "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go
ahead and let PSA go first". The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff
before United 586 had a chance to object to the impersonation!
_________________________________________________________________
After landing with his approach speed just a little too high, a DC-10 had an
exceedingly long landing rollout. The tower said, "American 751, turn right
at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of Highway 101
back to the airport."
_________________________________________________________________
A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying and
about flying when he's with a woman.
_________________________________________________________________
It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being
vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City:
KC Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one o'clock
and three miles."
Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him." KC Approach: "Delta
105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven o'clock and three miles. Do
you have that traffic?"
Delta 105: (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl):
"Well ... I've got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu
or a Chevelle, though."
_________________________________________________________________
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure ... by the way, as
we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the
runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7 ...
did you copy the report from Eastern?" Continental 635: "Continental 635,
cleared for takeoff ... and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already
notified our caterers."
_________________________________________________________________
O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3
miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this: I've got that Fokker
in sight." |
