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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: AugustWest who wrote (13501)2/20/2000 10:25:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
> The Top 12 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets
>
> (originally published January 8, 1997)
>
>
>12> Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
>
>11> Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am
> from Mars.
>
>10> I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
>
> 9> Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition
> in major dog shows.
>
> 8> Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing
> freak does to us when no one is around.
>
> 7> Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
>
> 6> Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids,
> or they'll flush my ass.
>
> 5> Always scoot before licking.
>
> 4> Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF
> how much food is *too* much.
>
> 3> Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise
> this year.
>
> 2> January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
> January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
>
>
> and TopFive.com's New Year's Resolution Made by Pets...
>
>
> 1> I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE
> HIS HAND.
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