The Top 5 Sexual Jokes of 1999
> >
> >
> >Number five
> >
> >A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
> >into her breast. They are both quite startled.
> >The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
> >breast, I know you'll forgive me."
> >She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
> >
> >---------------------------------------------
> >Number four
> >
> >A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He
> >notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
about
> >it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that
American
>
> >Indians have the longest penises and Irish men have the biggest diameter
> >penises. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
> >"Tonto Monaghan, nice to meet you."
> >
> >--------------------------------------------
> >Number three
> >
> >One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband started rubbing his
> >wife's arm.
> >
> >The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
> >appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
> >The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back
over
> >and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow
too?"
> >
> >--------------------------------------------
> >Number two
> >
> >Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
> >of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
> >terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
> >slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
> >about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.
> >He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks
later,
> >Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was seriously
> >wrong.
> >"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I
had
>
> >this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
> >"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I
got
>
> >fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
> >"Oh...she got fired too."
> >
> >--------------------------------------------
> >Number one
> >
> >A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
breakfast
> >table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we
were
> >sitting here at this breakfast table together."
> >"I know,"the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as
jaybirds
>
> >fifty years ago."
> >"Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times." Where upon the
two
>
> >stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
> >"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples
> >are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.
> >"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the
> >other is in your oatmeal."
> > |
