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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: John Carragher who wrote (13570)2/27/2000 3:09:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (1) of 62552
 
More Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO

* Pedal-powered dialysis machines.

* Use of antibiotics deemed an "unauthorized
experimental procedure."

* Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on
the last chapter of WAR AND PEACE.

* You ask for Viagra.
You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.

* Exam room has a tip jar.

* You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork
on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia
kicked in.

* Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate
rectal thermometers.

* The company logo features a hand squeezing
a bleeding turnip.

* Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your
baby on Mia Farrow's doorstep.

* Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires
them to walk around with a postcard from
Chernobyl in their pocket.

* "Prenatal vitamin" prescription is a box of
Tic-Tacs.

* Chief surgeon graduated from University
of Benihana.

* Directions to your doctor's office include, "Take
a left when you enter the trailer park."

* Doctor listens to your heart through a paper
towel tube.

* Only item listed under Preventive Care feature
of coverage is "an apple a day...."

* Only participating physicians are a Dr. Howard,
Dr. Fine, & Dr. Howard.

* Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from
Roto-Rooter.

* Plan covers only "group" gynecological exams.

* Recycled bandages.

* You can get your flu shot as soon as "the"
hypodermic needle is dry.

* Your "primary care physician" is wearing the
pants you gave to goodwill last month.

* 24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK

* Costly MRI equipment efficiently replaced by an
oversized 2-sided Xerox machine.

* Enema? The lavatory faucet swivels to face upward.
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