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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: John Carragher who wrote (13750)3/12/2000 10:15:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (3) of 62558
 
>Attorneys for Microsoft announced at a press conference that the
>company has patented the letter "e," widely known as the symbol for
>Microsoft's Internet Explorer web-browsing software.
>
>The specifications for the patent embrace all present and future
>methods for forming the letter "e," in both lower and upper case,
>script and type, as well as the operational function of the letter
>as a portion of words, symbols, graphic communications, and digital
>code. The letter is patented not in any specific form, but in its
>definitional function as a portion of an alphabetic transcription,
>which means that you can't avoid the patent by writing the letter
>backwards, upside down, or in another script.
>
>Company spokesman Greeley McElwee announced that Microsoft plans to
>charge royalties to all users of their patented letter, which is the
>most commonly-used letter in the English language. Special rates
>will be available for schools, and a graduated payment schedule is
>being developed for adults who are first learning to read and write.
>Software for tracking, charging, and collecting for e-usage has
>already been integrated into all recent versions of Windows,
>Microsoft Office, and Internet Explorer and will be activated
>automatically on April 1, 2000.
>
>Several Microsoft competitors announced that they would immediately
>begin replacing the letter "e" in all of their corporate
>communications with some other symbol, in order to avoid paying
>usage fees. Alternatives being considered are said to include Appl¢,
>Appl›, and ApplX, as well as ›-commerce, xtrade, and QBay.
>
>Publishers of leading dictionaries have announced an emergency
>conference at which they will be briefed on their options by legal
>experts, as well as attorneys from Microsoft.
>
>Stay tund for furthr dvlopmnts.
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