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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (13820)3/18/2000 8:51:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (2) of 62550
 
Food for thought...

>If your voting could really change things,
>Congress would make it illegal.
>
>A fool and his money can throw one hell of a
>party.
>
>When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
>
>Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids
>in touch.
>
>What happens if you get scared half to death
>twice?
>
>Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
>
>The statement below is true.
>The statement above is false.
>
>I don't have a license to kill, but I do have a
>learners permit.
>
>He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
>dead.
>
>I like pitbulls too. Let's exchange recipes.
>
>Time is fun when you're having flies... Kermit
>
>Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is
>bad for you.
>
>Toilet stolen from Police Station. Cops have
>nothing to go on.
>
>If you think there is good in everybody, then you
>obviously haven't met everybody.
>
>All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat
>though.
>
>If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're
>built upside down.
>
>Here I am!!! What are your other two wishes?
>
>Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun
>either.
>
>A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>
>Confession is good for the soul but bad for your
>career.
>
>Gargling is a good way to see if your throat
>leaks.
>
>Gun Control: Use both hands.
>
>Remember: First you pillage then you burn.
>
>To err is human. To forgive is against company
>policy.
>
>Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
>
>If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
>
>Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market
>reproductive organs.
>
>Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
>
>Half The People In The World Are Below Average.
>
>Failure Is Not An Option. It's bundled with your
>software.
>
>Honk If You Love Peace and Quiet.
>
>Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires.
>
>I'm pretty sure that sex is better than logic but
>I can't prove it.
>
>Arkansas State Motto: Don't Ask, Don't Tell,
>Don't Laugh.
>
>A picture may be worth a thousand words but it
>uses up a thousand times more memory!
>
>If a thing is worth doing, wouldn't it have been
>done already?
>
>If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they
>made of meat?
>
>Ham and Eggs. Just a day's work for a chicken but
>a lifetime commitment for a pig.
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