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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Tomato who wrote (1831)5/5/1997 6:15:00 PM
From: Rick Slemmer   of 62567
 
How cold is it? (Joke 095H)

How Cold Is It?
An Annotated Thermometer
by Don Haugen, Pensacola Austin-Healey Club

60:Californians put on sweaters (if they can find them in their wardrobe).
50: Miami residents turn on the heat.
40: You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.
35: Italian cars won't start.
32: Water freezes.
30: You plan your vacation to Australia. Minnesotans put on T-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. English cars won't start.
25: Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.
20: You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacations farther south.
15: French cars don't start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.
10: Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5: You plan your vacation in Houston. American cars don't start.
0: Alaskans put on T-shirts. Too cold to skate.
-10: German cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15: You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick their tongues on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.
-20: Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off the roof. Japanese cars don't start.
-25: Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30: You plan a two-week hot bath. The mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don't start.
-40: Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip south.
-50: Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80: Hell freezes over. Polar bears move south.
-90: Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

RS, with thanks to the original author above
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