THE STRESS DIET
>
> This plan will help you cope with the stress that
> builds up during the day.
>
> BREAKFAST:
> Grapefruit
> 1 slice whole wheat toast
> 8 oz skim milk
>
> LUNCH:
> 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
> 1 C steamed spinach
> 1 C herbal tea
> 1 Oreo cookie
>
> MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
> The rest of the Oreos in the package
> 2 Pts. Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries,
> whipped cream
> 1 Jar hot fudge sauce
>
> DINNER:
> 2 loaves garlic bread
> 4 cans or 1 large pitcher of Coke
> 1 large sausage, mushroom, and cheese pizza
> 3 Snickers bars
>
> LATE EVENING NEWS:
> Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten
> directly from the freezer)
>
> RULES FOR THIS DIET:
>
> 1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it,
> it has no calories.
>
> 2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the
> calories in the candy bar
> are canceled out by the diet soda.
>
> 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't
> count if you do not eat
> more than they do.
>
> 4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts.
> Examples: hot chocolate,
> brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake.
>
> 5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, YOU
> will look thinner.
>
> 6. Movie-related foods do *not* have additional
> calories because they are
> part of the entertainment package and not part of
> one's personal fuel.
> Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior
> Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie
> Rolls, nachos.
>
> 7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process
> of breaking causes
> calorie leakage.
>
> 8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no
> calories if you are in the
> process of preparing something.
>
> 9. Foods which have the same color, have the same
> number of calories.
> Examples: spinach & pistachio ice cream; mushrooms &
> mashed potatoes.
>
> 10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be
> substituted for any other food
> color.
>
> 11. Anything consumed while you are standing has no
> calories. This is due to
> gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
>
> 12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has
> no calories since
> the calories rightfully belong to the other person
> and will cling to his/her
> plate. (And we all know how calories like to
> cling!!)
>
> REMEMBER: "stressed" spelled backwards is
> "desserts." |
