some new some old
RED NECK HUMOR
> >
> > Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left
his
> >entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
> > She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
> > The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally
involved.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
> > What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama?
> > Nice tooth!
> >----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.
> > The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
> > "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
> > Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
> > The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
> > "There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
> > "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel?
> > When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and
the
> >person at the front desk says "go ahead."
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
> >There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age inTennessee
to
> >32?
> > It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
> >A documentary.
> >----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >How many rednecks does it take to eat possom? Two. One to eat, and one
to
> >watch out for traffic.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why did God invent armadillos?
> > So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the halfshell.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Where was the toothbrush invented?
> > Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a
> >teethbrush.
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to
the
> >driver, "Got any ID?"
> >The driver says, "Bout what?"
> >----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
> > The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
> >-------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas
burned
> >down?
> > Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A new law recently passed in North Carolina:
> > When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
> >----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
> > I-40.
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward
each
> >other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says,"Hey Tommy
Ray,
> >what'cha got in th' bag?"
> >"Jus' some chickens."
> >"If I guesses right can I keep 'em?"
> >"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
> > OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
> > -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in
> >Florida have in common?
> >Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
> >
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
> >A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next
door,
> >telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house
is
> on
> >fire!"
> >"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
> >"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
> >-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or
more?
> >'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
> >-------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room?
> > A full set of teeth. |
