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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Calvin Scott who wrote (14283)5/4/2000 9:17:00 PM
From: E  Read Replies (1) of 62562
 
In the same spirit:

Subject:
he said / she said
Date

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

*Yes = No

*No = Yes

*Maybe = No

*I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

*We need = I want

*It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

*Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

*We need to talk = I need to complain

*Sure go ahead = I don't want you to

*I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

*You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

*Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

*This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

*I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

*I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

*Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

*How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate

*I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
on TV

*You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

*Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

MEN'S ENGLISH:

*I'm hungry = I'm hungry

*I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

*I'm tired = I'm tired

*Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you

*Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you

*Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

*May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

*Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

*You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

*What's wrong? = What stupid self-inflicted psychological trauma is it
now?

*What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

*I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

*I love you = Let's have sex now

*I love you, too = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex.

*Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

*Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am deep then maybe
sex?

*Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
with anybody else.
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