One day I had my cat at the vet...
We were waiting for our turn to see the Doc when the front door was jerked open by a lady who is trying to drag her English Bulldog into the lobby on a leash. That bitch (the dog) was in full four wheel drive reverse, fighting the leash, grunting, snorting, blowing drool and snot all over the floor (the lack of traction experienced by the dog in the mucous trail was the only reason the lady was able to make any forward progress). The only word that would adequately describe this dog is FUGLY (an order of magnitude beyond ugly). PMS with an under bite, huge head, bug eyes, twisted tail and many more undesirable attributes.
I secured my cat and moved over a few seats to give her plenty of room to get that thing settled in. Then, I politely asked the lady if her dog was here for a head cold. She said, "No, I think she is pregnant." To which I responded, "Seriously Ma'am. She's here for a head cold, right?" "No, I think she is pregnant." I said, "Well, I guess modern science has come a long way with artificial insemination." "No, we know who the sire is." "Was it by chance, the cur that was in here with alcohol poisoning that chewed his left paw off?" "No, he is a show quality pedigree stud with a champion bloodline." "Seriously Ma'am. She's here for a head cold, right?" |
