(in case anyone missed the following)
Darwin Awards
Hard to believe, but another year has passed... (For those who don't
know it, the Darwin Awards are awarded every year to the person(s) who
died in the stupidest way, thereby removing themselves from the gene
pool...)
The 1999 nominees are:
NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a
shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield,
accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a
hole in his gut.
NOMINEE No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of
Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police
describe as a "farm type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck
on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the
source of a troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something,
however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47,
accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C.
Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached
for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38
Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
NOMINEE No. 4: [UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a
pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police
spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto
Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the
strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy
previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to
police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day
Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was one of the best and
brightest" members of the 200-man association.
NOMINEE No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no
ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by
his own gas. There was no mark on his body but an autopsy showed large
amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily
of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the
right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep
from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had
he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been
fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According
to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating this
deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.
NOMINEE No. 6: ["The News of the Weird.] Michael Anderson Godwin made
News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting
South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his
sentence reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in
his cell and attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and
was electrocuted.
NOMINEE NO. 7: ["The Indianapolis Star"]. A cigarette lighter may have
triggered fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a
cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed
Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's
investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural
Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a
54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing properly. He was using
the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
NOMINEE No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario] A man cleaning a bird
feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto
suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was
standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector
D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional police. "It appears the chair moved
and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
AND FINALLY: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two local men were seriously
injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck a tree near
Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County
deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of
Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.
The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a
frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck
headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse
on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol
fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and
the two men proceeded on east-bound toward the White River bridge.
After traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the
river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in
the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right exiting the
pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the
other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
released. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world,
but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit
how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many
frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. (Way
to go, Lavinia.) |
