True Confessions
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Hi,
My name is Kelp....and I fart.
Now that I look back, I have always been a farter. oh yes, I hid it from my friends, loved ones, not even my mother knew the truth..
until..
One day in the office of my new internet company, during an excited conversation, I let one rip.
I WAS NOT thinking, I FORGOT to hide it.
The room went silent. All eyes were on me and one by one, from the closest to the furthest their hands went to their faces, their eyes watered, many left the room.
It was then I could no longer deny it. I was a FARTER.
I no longer work in an office. I'm what they call a satellite employee. It is lonely no doubt, out here in the woods, miles from anyone. My dog JC, long since accepting of my gas is my best friend.. actually, my only friend.
I would stop if I could, but for now, it sure feels good to touch my toe and let her blow.
An excerpt from "Hot air Rises" Bantam Books |
