It's "Let's pick on men today instead of blondes". . .
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling
your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they
don't work.
How can you tell when men are well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the
noose.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE.....He just holds it up there and waits for the
world to revolve around him.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks
he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's the difference between Big Foot
and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have
a rough draft before your masterpiece.
Why do female black widow spiders kill
the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget
what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to
fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask
for directions.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for
men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood,
he's already there!
It's "Let's pick on men today instead of blondes". . .
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling
your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they
don't work.
How can you tell when men are well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the
noose.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE.....He just holds it up there and waits for the
world to revolve around him.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks
he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's the difference between Big Foot
and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have
a rough draft before your masterpiece.
Why do female black widow spiders kill
the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget
what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to
fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask
for directions.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for
men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood,
he's already there!
It's "Let's pick on men today instead of blondes". . .
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling
your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they
don't work.
How can you tell when men are well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the
noose.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE.....He just holds it up there and waits for the
world to revolve around him.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks
he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's the difference between Big Foot
and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have
a rough draft before your masterpiece.
Why do female black widow spiders kill
the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget
what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to
fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask
for directions.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for
men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood,
he's already there! |
