> ** THE HIT
> Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an
> unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve
> both problems by taking out a large insurance policy
> on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and
> arranging to have her killed.
>
> A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a
> nefarious underworld figure by the name of Artie.
> Artie explained to the husband that his going price
> for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
> The husband said he was willing to pay that amount,
> but that he wouldn't have any cash until he could
> collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on
> being paid SOMETHING up front. The man opened
> up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that
> rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and
> reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down
> payment for the dirty deed.
> A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to
> the local Safeway grocery store. There, he surprised
> her in the produce department and proceeded to
> strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor
> unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped
> to the floor, the manager of the produce department
> stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to
> leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but
> to strangle the produce manager as well.
> Unbeknownst to Artie, the entire proceedings were
> captured by hidden cameras and observed by the
> store's security guard, who immediately called the
> police. Artie was caught and arrested before he
> could leave the store. Under intense questioning
> at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan,
> including his financial arrangements with the
> hapless husband.
> And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the
> headline declared,
> "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY." |
