Q: Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't ?
A: Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go
to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go
to the refrigerator.
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At a silver wedding anniversary the husband was standing in one
corner looking very sad. "What's the matter?" asked his friend.
"Well, a week after marriage, I got fed up and wanted to
kill my wife, but my lawyer said that I would get 25 years.
Now I realise that today I would have been a free man."
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A couple were in bed after celebrating their golden anniversary.
The wife said, "Darling, embrace me the way you used
to when we first got married." He did.
"Now kiss me the way you used to...... He did.
Now darling bite me the way you used to.....
At this point the husband got out of bed and the wife said,
"Where are you going, dear?" "To get my teeth," the husband replied.
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During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband :
"Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so
overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?
" The hubby replied : "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my
life."
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When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities
- she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living
room and a devil in bed.
After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain,
but alas - she is an aristocrat in the kitchen,
a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.
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Adam and the Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the
world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
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If you want a perfect stereo for your car then let your wife sit in
the front and your mother-in-law in the back.
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Two friends met. "You look sad, Fred, what's
the trouble?" asked the first friend. "Domestic trouble." "But you
always
bragged that your wife is a pearl." "She still is. It's the
mother-of-pearl that makes all the trouble." |
