The Smith's were unable to conceive children, and
decided to use a proxy or surrogate father to start
their family. On the day the proxy father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off."
The man should be here soon. Half an hour later,
just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,"
Mrs. Smith cut in."
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good!
I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well,
where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple
on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun
too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions and
I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be
pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot of ...."gasped Mrs. Smith."
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it." Mrs. Smith said quietly."
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the
top of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my God!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well-when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park
to get the job done right. People were crowding around four
and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four or five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened."
"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours
too. The mother constantly squealing and yelling-I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began to nibble on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward, "You mean they actually
chewed on your, um.... equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up
my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod?"
"Oh, yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big for me to hold.... and it is very long.
"Madam? Ma'am? ....Good Lord, she's fainted!"
____________________________________
What is that funny little thing called when a bowler carefully aims and then walks up and delivers the ball?
It is called a "Bowl Movement"
<smiles> |
