Did someone say bar joke? My fave!:
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bar is quiet; there is only one other person at the end of the bar, so the bartender has nothing else to do, so he and this guy start chatting.
The bartender asks the guy what he does for work.
"I make bets," he said, "but not the Las Vegas kind: I make bets with people. For example, I bet you $5 I can bite my left eye."
"Bite your left eye?" said the bartender. "Ok, you're on!"
The guy pops out his left (glass) eye, bites it and pops it back in. "Now I'll bet ya $5 more I can bite my right eye!"
"Well you're not blind; your right eye must be real," said the bartender. "OK you're on!"
The guy pops out his dentures, bites his right eye and pops his teeth back in. "Pretty neat huh? You owe me $10!"
"OK, OK," said the bartender. "You may have fooled me, but you can't possibly earn a living making little bets like that!"
"Oh, but I make BIG bets too!" the guys said. "I'll make a big bet with you now: I'll bet you $100, and here is the bet: you put a glass on the bar and I will pee in it. No matter what you do, all my pee will go in the glass! Is it a bet?"
The bartender thinks, I don't care WHAT this guy has up his sleeve this time, there is NO way I'm gonna let him get all his pee in the glass. "OK! It's a bet!" he says, slamming a glass on the counter.
The guy starts to pee in the glass. The bartender reaches over the bar and spins the guy on his barstool. Pee is going EVERYWHERE...the floor, the counter, and even the bartender's face! The bartender starts laughing...he won the $100 bet.
Just then, the other guy at the end of the bar lets out a shriek, falls off his bar stool, and faints.
"What's with him?" says the bartender.
"Oh," smiles the guy, zipping up his pants, "I bet him $10,000 that I could pee in your face and you'd laugh!" |
