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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: PMS Witch who wrote (15580)8/7/2000 8:51:00 PM
From: Dalin  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have
produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to
create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)
(How'd they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing)
(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed
people do.
(If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight
and always
falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)

Polar bears are left handed.
(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, ask them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?)

A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves
to
death. (Creepy)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the he....)
(Well, at least pigs get a break there...)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig... quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez)
(That's almost as bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

After reading all these, all I can say is.............Lucky Pigs !

:0)

D.
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