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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Barney who wrote (16193)9/19/2000 9:24:56 AM
From: MrsNose  Read Replies (1) of 62548
 
> MOM'S BROWNIE RECIPE
>
> Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
> Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
> Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Billy "no, no."
> Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
> Take shortening can away from Billy and clean cupboards.
> Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
> Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat.
> Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing
> shortening from cat's tail.
> Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
> Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for
> ventilation.
> Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was
> mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed
from
> bill.
> Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
> Let cat out of refrigerator.
> Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
>
> Bake 25 minutes.
>
> Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have
no
> idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still
time
> and he's still able to run away.
>
> Frosting
> --------
> Mix the following in saucepan:
> 1 cup sugar
> 2 oz unsweetened chocolate
> 1/4 cup margarine
>
> Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far
> away.
>
> Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know
> Billy had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. Put
Billy
> in playpen.
>
> Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2
> minutes.
>
> Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden
hose
> in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
>
> Tie Billy to clothesline.
>
> Remove burned brownies from oven.
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