Duck Hunting Colorado style
This was on the Lewis Floorwax Show one morning on 103.5 FM The Fox
Radio in Denver.
This guy buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30 some thousand dollars
and has 400+ dollar monthly payments. He immediately gets ahold of his
friend and they go do some male bonding. They go duck hunting and of course all
the lakes are frozen.
These 2 Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer
and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get
ready.
Now, they want to make a natural landing area for the ducks, something
for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice and in order to make a
hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck wants to fly down
and land on, it is going to take a little more effort drilling a hole in the
ice.
Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with
a short, 40 second fuse. Now these 2 Rocket Scientists do take into
consideration that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a
location far from where they are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee),
they take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning
fuse and possibly going up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they
decide to light this 40 second fuse and throw the dynamite which is what
they end up doing.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back about the vehicle, the beer, the
guns AND THE DOG? Yes, the dog. A highly trained Black Lab used for
retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it,
the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and gets
the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse about the time it
hits the ice all to the woes of the 2 idiots yelling, stomping, waving
arms and wondering what the hell to do now.
The dog is happy and heads back from where it came from moments
before, with the stick of dynamite. The 2 bozo's are now really waving
their arms, yelling even louder and jumping higher than before. One of
the guys decides to think, something that he has never done before this
moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with
#8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab on its appointed
rounds. Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused and continues on.
Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really
confused of course scared, thinking these 2 Nobel Prize winners have
gone insane, takes off to find cover, with the now really short short fuse
still burning on the stick of dynamite. The cover the dog finds?
Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee -- the 30 some thousand dollar
and 400+ monthly payment vehicle -- sitting on the ice.
BOOM
!!!
Dog dies and takes the brand new 30 some thousand dollar 400+
monthly payment Grand Cherokee vehicle to the bottom of the lake leaving
the 2 candidates for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing there
with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.
Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company which
tells him that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives
is not covered. He had yet to make the first of those 400+ a month
payments. |
