> Subject: in the beginning
>
>
>
> In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was
> without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
> And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
>
> And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. And God said,
"Let
> the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree
> yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.
>
> And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."
>
> And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness,
> and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over
> the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over
> every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created
Man
> in his own image; male and female created he them. And God
> looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
>
> And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game."
>
> And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
> green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
long
> and
> healthy lives.
>
> And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent
> double
> cheeseburger.
> And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
> And Man said, "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.
>
> And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
that
> man
> found so fair.
>
> And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.
> And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
>
> And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
>
> And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil
with
> which to cook them."
> And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
> platter.
>
> And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
> And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra
> pounds.
>
> And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote
> control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and
> ESPN2.
>
> And Man gained another 20 pounds.
> And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
> And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
> brimming
> with nutrition.
>
> And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into
> chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.
>
> And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in
> cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
>
> And Man went into cardiac arrest.
>
> And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
>
> And Satan created HMOs.
> |
