posted 10-20-2000 22:47
>For your reading humor:
>
>THESE QUOTES WERE REPORTEDLY TAKEN FROM ACTUAL FEDERAL EMPLOYEE
PERFORMANCE
>EVALUATIONS:
>
>1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
>started to dig."
>
>2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
>
>3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
>definite won't be."
>
>4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
>trap."
>
>5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
>
>6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
>
>7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
>
>8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
>them."
>
>9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
>
>10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
>
>11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
>together."
>
>12. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
>
>13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>
>14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
>
>15. "He's been working with glue too much."
>
>16. "He would argue with a signpost."
>
>17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
>
>18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>
>19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
one."
>
>20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
>
>21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
>
>22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
>
>23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
>
>24. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
>
>25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
>
>26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
>
>27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
>
>28. "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
>
>29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
>
>30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
>
>31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
>
>32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead." |
