Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinker's Soul
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
thank her.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
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When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Ok, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.
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Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
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To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group
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