SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN
1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk"
3, You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"
4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
5. You drink pop, not soda.
6. This doesn't bother you at all.
7. You know what it means to be on pogey.
8. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!!"
9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
10. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
11. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba, it's a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
12. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
13. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
14. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
15. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
16. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
17. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
18. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
19. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"
20. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
21. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
22. You are excited whenever an American television mentions Canada.
23. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo"
24. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
25. You know what a tuque is.
26. You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is not.
27. You know Toronto is not a province.
28. You never miss "Coach's Corner".
29. You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars"
30. You know who Ernie Coombs is.
31. You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold".
32. You have memorised the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments,including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast, Doctor", "You all know I canna read a word..." and "Kanata".
33. You spend sleepless nights wondering if Peter Mansbridge and Wendy Mesley will ever find again the blissful love they once knew.
34. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway down your ass and the hair and three layers of skin is worn off the front of your thighs from carrying your pocket money a around. The new coin should
have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger pattie and have fifteen different kinds of metals in it, including poutine.
35. You know Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.
36. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.
37. You have been on Speaker's Corner.
38. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
39. You remember "Jodie" from "Today's Special" and wonder why she reads news on CBC.
40. You wonder idly if there is some government cover-up of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X-Files" from British Columbia to California.
41. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few weeks early.
42. You design your Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit.
43. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one metre above the ground.
44. The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
45. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
46. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
47. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".
48. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends. |
