Who is Jack Schitt?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We
find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual
way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one
son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the
twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap
Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted
to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood
and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding
announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the
prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy
with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO LOWER THEIR BLOOD PRESSURE.
REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE. IF SOME
ONE CAN READ THIS WITHOUT LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE
TOES, THEY HAVE A SERIOUS "NEED JOY" PROBLEM. |
