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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: jERRY Ö¿Ö who wrote (17589)1/7/2001 1:03:33 PM
From: Barney  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
To ensure that you are ready for this ski season, perform the following:

1. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.

2. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.

3. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.

4. Throw away a hundred dollar bill--right now.

5. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.

6. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

7. Buy a new pair of very expensive gloves and immediately throw one away.

8. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.

9. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.

10. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

11. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

12. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
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