> Redneck Love Poem
>
> Collards are green,
> my dog's name is Blue
> and I'm so lucky
> to have a sweet thang like you.
>
> Yore hair is like cornsilk
> a-flappin in the breeze.
> Softer than Blue's
> and without all them fleas.
>
> You move like the bass,
> which excite me in May.
> You ain't got no scales
> but I luv you anyway.
>
> Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
> jist a-fry'n in the pan.
> Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
> Right out of the can.
>
> You have some'a yore teeth
> for which I am proud.
> I hold my head high
> when we're in a crowd.
>
> On special occasions,
> when you shave under yore arms,
> well, I'm in hawg heaven
> and awed by yore charms.
>
> Still them fellers at work,
> they all want to know,
> what I did to deserve
> such a purdy, young doe.
>
> Like a good roll of duct tape
> yo're there fer yore man,
> to patch up life's troubles
> and fix what you can.
>
> Yo're as cute as a junebug
> a-buzzin' overhead.
> You ain't mean like those far ants
> I found in my bed.
>
> Cut from the best cloth
> like a plaid flannel shirt,
> you spark up my life
> more than a fresh load of dirt.>
>
> When you hold me real tight
> like a padded gunrack,
> my life is complete.
> Ain't nuttin' I lack.
>
> Yore complexion, it's perfection,
> like the best vinyl sidin'
> despite all the years,
> yore age, it keeps hidin'.
>
> Me "n" you's like a moon pie
> with a RC cold drank,
> we go together
> like a skunk goes with stank.
>
> Some men, they buy chocolate
> for a Valentine's Day,
> they git it at Wal-Mart,
> it's romantic that way.
>
> Some men git roses
> on that special day
> from the cooler at Krogers,
> that's impressive, I say.
>
> Some men buy fine diamonds
> from a flea market booth.
> "Diamonds are forever",
> they explain, suave and couth.
>
> But for this man, honey,
> these won't do.
> Cause yo're too special,
> you sweet thang you.
>
> I got you a gift,
> without taste nor odor,
> more useful than diamonds....
> IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR! |
