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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Barney who wrote (19145)5/14/2001 7:53:46 AM
From: Ian@SI  Read Replies (1) of 62567
 
>
> THE COLLEGE FOOD CHAIN
>
> THE DEAN
>
> Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
> Is more powerful than a locomotive
> Is faster than a speeding bullet
> Walks on water
> Gives policy to God
>
> THE DEPARTMENT HEAD
>
> Leaps short buildings with a single bound
> Is more powerful than a switch engine
> Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
> Talks with God
>
> PROFESSOR
>
> Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
> Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
> Is faster than a speeding BB
> Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
> Talks with God if a special request is honored
>
> ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR
>
> Barely clears a quonset hut
> Loses tug of war with a locomotive
> Can fire a speeding bullet
> Swims well
> Is occasionally addressed by God
>
> ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
>
> Makes high marks on walls when trying to leap tall buildings
> Is run over by locomotives
> Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
> Treads water
> Talks to animals
>
> INSTRUCTOR
>
> Climbs walls continually
> Rides the rails
> Plays Russian Roulette
> Walks on thin ice
> Prays a lot
>
> GRADUATE STUDENT
>
> Runs into buildings
> Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
> Is not issued ammunition
> Can stay afloat with a life jacket
> Talks to walls
>
> UNDERGRADUATE STUDENT
>
> Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings
> Says "Look at the choo-choo"
> Wets himself with a water pistol
> Plays in mud puddles
> Mumbles to himself
>
> DEPARTMENT SECRETARY
>
> Lifts buildings and walks under them
> Kicks locomotives off the tracks
> Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them
> Freezes water with a single glance
> She IS God.
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