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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Big Al who wrote (19942)7/24/2001 7:06:49 PM
From: Calvin Scott  Read Replies (1) of 62549
 
RE: Rules of Combat

Here is the same thing with a twist:

Rules of Combat (or Romance)

1. If the enemy (person) is in range, so are you.

2. Incoming fire (flirtation) has the right of way (and should be returned).

3. Don’t look conspicuous: it draws fire (it attracts the undesirables).

4. The easy way is always mined. (this is obvious in romance, i.e. he is married, she is a prostitute).

5. Try to look unimportant (when the unattractive are looking); they may be low on ammo (they may think you are married).

6. Professionals (bar scene crowd) are predictable; it’s the amateurs (newly available) that are dangerous (easy).

7. The enemy (geeks & dweebs) invariably attacks (makes their moves) on one of two occasions:
a. When you’re ready for them.
b. When you’re not ready for them.

8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at (bring your ugly cousin).

9. If your attack (flirting) is going well, you have walked into an ambush (beware, you may be someone’s bet or the brunt of someone’s joke).

10. Don’t draw fire (try to blend in); it irritates the people around you (you may get the chair pulled away from you).

11. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire (you flirted with someone who already has a date) is incoming friendly fire (you finally get hit on by a very charming and friendly good looking person. Forget it, they're gay).

12. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend (men: pitching a tent on the dance floor; women: your bra is not patted and it suddenly gets very cold in here).

13. If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid (Q: have we met before? A: No but I would like to meet you now).

14. When in doubt, empty the magazine. (Men: keep buying drinks; Women: Keep accepting the drinks).
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